6 tips to balance family and work — without sacrificing both
Here are some ideas for employees and employers to improve work/family balance:
For employees
1. Put words to the problem
Most of us can identify when we feel stressed, but we can’t always pinpoint where it’s coming from. Grab a piece of paper and write down the answers to the following:
This exercise can be challenging. It may bring up feelings of guilt, being stuck, resentment, or hopelessness. If you start to feel angry, try taking a couple of deep breaths. Label the emotions you feel and note them to talk through with a coach later.
Once you know how you feel and what you think the source of those feelings is, you can begin to address it. Do you feel like you need more support, more free time, or more resources? Whatever comes to mind, write it down — even if you don’t think it’s a likely solution.
2. Talk to your family
Once you’ve started to journal your thoughts and feelings, plan some time to talk to your family. Tell them how you’re feeling and what you think would be helpful for you. However, don’t be too quick to come to a solution. You might find yourself solving the wrong issue. For caregivers and working parents, guilt can cloud reality.
For example, you might feel like you’re always working, and your late hours mean that you order takeout multiple times a week. You feel terrible about this, since you grew up in a home that had home-cooked family meals every night. You apologize to your family, only to learn that they don’t care. They love ordering takeout and what they really care about is having more time with you.
These candid conversations can help you re-establish your priorities and your family values. Talk through your daily routine with your loved ones and see if you can identify opportunities for the type of connection that makes a difference. Give yourself permission to let certain things go, like the pressure to make dinner from scratch every night. Build family time into your schedule, and make it sacred so they know what to expect from you.
3. Ask for help
Change doesn’t happen overnight. Rebalancing work and family life will likely mean that you’ll have to set boundaries in new ways. This part of the plan might take some recalibrating and a few more conversations.
Take a realistic look at your work schedule. Are your long hours necessary? Is there something else that you can change so you can have a more predictable schedule? For example, my husband and I both have flexible schedules, but I tend to work late when I need to finish a project.
Getting better about ending work on time meant, for us, that I had to say no to running errands with him during the day (at least, most of the time). My family gets that if I take them to an appointment or event during the day, I’ll likely be making up for it at night.
If you need more flexibility at work, reach out to your manager. Remember that everyone wins when you take care of yourself and your mental health. Your manager can help you adjust your schedule, discuss your commitments, and learn more about any resources that might be available for you.
For employers
Over a third of full-time employees say that balancing work and family life has become much more challenging in the last few years. A survey of full-time employees found that the most common reasons for this were increased work-loads, an increase in expenses (without an increase in salary), and working more after having children.
The workplace has changed (and is still changing) over the last few years. Both employers and employees are still trying to figure out what works as the lines between work/home continue to blur. Here are some practical ways that you can support team members that are struggling with work/family balance:
1. Get familiar with your policies
As a people manager, you’re in an ideal place to bridge the disconnect between the company and your team. Learn about any employee benefits your company might offer that are designed to combat stress. These might include access to therapy, mental fitness coaching, employee assistance plans (EAPs), or paid time off.
Employees that are unable to work due to health concerns (including mental health) or caregiving responsibilities may qualify for a medical leave of absence. Encourage them to take the time they need for themselves and their family members.
2. Learn to lead diverse and remote teams
There are as many versions of what work/family balance look like as there are people at your company. Each of your coworkers will have different needs and a different balance of time spent at work vs. time spent with family to be at their best. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking one-size-fits-all.
Instead, spend time getting to know your team as individuals. When do they do their best work? What makes them feel supported? What do they need to get into a flow state? Encouraging your team to do good work isn’t about demanding it. It’s about creating the circumstances to empower it.
3. Model work/family balance
While you’re looking for ways to support your employees’ mental health, be sure to walk the talk. Take vacation time (and don’t send emails from the beach). Build downtime into the workday, like blocks of time that are meeting-free. If you’re eligible for family or maternity leave, don’t cut it short to rush back to work.
As a leader, what you do is just as important — if not more so — than what you say. If you model self-care practices, your teams are much more likely to take the time they need for themselves, too.
Final thoughts
Your employees care about doing well at their jobs and supporting the company — but they should never be asked to choose between family and work. If you’re an employee or freelancer, you shouldn’t feel guilty about wanting to spend enough time with your family. Finding the right balance between family and work is critical to your long-term success and well-being.
Remember that the goal isn’t to find “balance,” but a successful integration between work and family life. You may not always feel like both sides are equally “weighted.” That’s okay. Looking at your responsibilities with a long-term perspective is key. You want to find the practices (not the arbitrary allotment of time) that supports your responsibilities to your family, your career, and to yourself. That looks different for everyone, and no one but you can say when you have the right mix.
If you need help setting boundaries, asking for support (at work or at home), or dealing with caregiver burnout, reach out to a BetterUp coach today. From <https://www.betterup.com/blog/balance-family-and-work>
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